You are the Problem... Deal with it!

Did that title TRIGGER you??  I hope it did because as I stated, YOU are the problem.

     I have learned so much over the last 9 months about myself and about others. What makes people tick? What motivates and what can debilitate? I never planned on becoming a leader or even a team trainer. NEVER in my plans ever but here I am doing it. I have got to tell you it can be an exhausting responsibility but also rewarding.

     So much ENERGY is spent on trying to make others see what you see in them. You will pour out everything you can, just to get a tiny spark. Just to see one small flame flicker in their eyes. At some point in our lives we seem to lose something vital. As a child we feel like we can do anything. We can be superman, unstoppable and can face anything we set out to do. What happens to us? What changes??

       As children many of us lack the "excuse" emotion. When we do something great we get celebrated by those around us and that is all we really need to feel accomplished. We do not determine our self worth or value based on the 10 mins we had to sit in time out for tripping the bully on the playground. We do not dwell on our punishments or failures, instead we accept our wrongs, and the punishments and then we go back to the playground. As adults, we over analyze every single action and reaction. We hit replay on one moment a thousand times!? WHY?? Because we are looking for the loophole, the escape, the excuse that it was not our faults. We are looking to be blameless and a innocent victim. We can not understand how our actions could possibly lead to X reaction.

      You are the problem so you need to deal with it. Now before you think that I have already excluded myself from this little rant, think again. I am guilty! I know 100% I over think EVERYTHING!!

      As a stay at home parent I have observed the behavior mentioned above. It was not until I became a "leader" that I truly began to see how much of a problem I had personally. 

     Any good leader will CARE about you and your goals. The problem is some of us care too much. We care MORE than you care yourself. What we intend to be education and encouragement can sometimes turn into life support.

     We all need to wake up and reclaim our own strength. Its estimated that 1% of people who set out to become successful actually reach that goal. That means 99% of our society can not overcome the fears and challenges that arise on the way to success. 99% of society will accept FAILURE as a victory. "I tried it just was not for me." Reality is YOU did NOT even scratch the surface of TRY. 

    

     WE ARE PROGRAMMED TO AVOID PAIN

   We are designed to run away from things painful and uncomfortable which is a huge factor when it comes to being successful. I have researched this topic of "Success" and one of the most interesting things I have read was "The 5 Second Rule." To be successful you must MOVE, WORK, TAKE ANY ACTION that can propel you forward. It absolutely will without a doubt be uncomfortable at times. You will face fears, battles and even pain. This is what separates the 1% from the 99% and ultimately the successful from the quitters.

      Sometimes we have these thoughts of doing something incredible. Its a moment of wisdom that could really change the course of our lives. When these moments arise many of us almost instantly decide not to do it. What ever the 'it' may be we choose to toss the crazy idea away. We flood it out of our brains with a thousand excuses. 

I have No time.

I can not do what they do.

I am just tired.

     This can all happen within 5 seconds. Those who break that 5 second rule and actually begin to move they find freedom. Our BRAINS work against us if we do not physically move within 5 seconds When you stop and think, when you hesitate, and when you feel uncertain, you are signaling to your brain that something’s wrong.

     Your brain will automatically kill the dream or idea in order to protect you. Protect you how exactly?By keeping you from doing anything that feels scary, hard, or uncertain.It thinks it’s keeping you safe when in fact it is keeping you from growing as a person, stretching yourself in your business, and fully experiencing life.

The Scary, Hard, Uncertain things in life is what Dreams are built from!! STOP standing in your own way! Stop depending on your leaders or mentors to carry you over the finish line. Make the choice to take action and crush excuses. If you need your hand held every step of your life you will never learn to walk let alone, Run.

My Paparazzi Journey

It has been quite sometime since I took a moment to write on this blog. My life has changed A-Lot just to keep it simple. I will do another blog sometime soon to maybe play the catch up game. The purpose of this one today is to shed some light on the last 8 months of my life.

It is no secret that I have dabbled in many work from home adventures. Most if not all leading to defeat and failure. One I started in 2017 was the absolute worst kind. It took lots of time and lots of money with little to no reward. I had started that business as a way to cope with anxiety and depression that most mothers especially stay at home mothers face. I was told how amazing it was and I drank the koolaid. Months later, the company was a complete embarrassment and it only cost me more heartache and more anxiety. I was over the stay at home side "hustle".

I have always loved taking photos and have built up a pretty amazing group of customers over the years but I became burnt out. Photography was something I enjoyed but lots of people can turn what was once a joy into anxiety and work. One customer in particular, will always be burned into my mind. I was over working for others all the time too.

So here I am, Exhausted with a company that was set up in such a way that I could never be successful. Exhausted with dealing with others over photos and booking sessions. Just flat out exhausted with all of it. Still I was searching for a purpose and I knew God would guide me where I needed to go. I just never imagined it would be where I am.

One night, Scrolling through Facebook I can across a video. This girl was shy, timid, super nervous and the empathy in me wanted to stay if only to show a little support. As I watched her she began to hold up some really cute jewelry. I thought 'Thats cute I would totally wear that... I wonder how much it cost"? Then out of her mouth came the words $5 dollar Jewelry... and I was locked in. After the show was over I sent this stranger a message asking about the company and looking for information AKA the scheme, hoax, anything negative. She was very quick to reply with some information on how I could get started and join her team. I told her to give me some time to think it over.

In that time I asked her for I dug as hard as I could into the business of Paparazzi Accessories. I wanted to hunt down all the dirt and turn every stone possible. Things that I found were of no use because everything looked too good to be true. Not a single negative word came up against this company. I noticed several things though during this excavation.

1) Paparazzi was started in 2011 by two sisters and their husbands
2) It was started debt free and remains debt free today
3) Considered Ground Level- Fewer than 500,000 consultants compared to the millions of Avon and Mary Kay. ( near 300,000 currently)
4) You are able to make a instant 45% commission on personal sales which was absolutely mind blowing to me. You make that without a single person joining your team.
5) You can quit at any time with no strings attached.
6) To be active you only have to purchase 25 items a month minimum at 2.75 wholesale cost. If your having a life issue and cannot be active one month you do not lose your consultant status. You actually only need to purchase 100 items in a 12 month span.
7) It was changing peoples lives in a big way.
8) It grew more than Facebook and Google combined one year.


All of this lead me to joining this shy young woman's team. I told her I was ready to join and she sent me a link. I must have looked at it for hours checking for hidden fees. Then I took a deep breath pulled out my debit card and ordered the $99.00 Kit. I instantly felt like I made a mistake but I had no idea that it would be the best thing that ever happened to me and my family. She announced me on a team group and I was overcome by the love and the support I got just for saying yes.

I got the kit within a few days and I was so impressed with the product. I went live on FB to sell and was blown away by the amount of people who wanted to buy and also I was scared to death. Going live to sell $5 jewelry was never in my plans. I was just looking for fun but it turned into something else fairly quickly.

I changed. My life changed. My family changed.

I never planned to recruit ever!! I was happy just to be doing something for myself while my children slept at night, but people came asking. I didn't have to cold message or seek out anyone they approached me and that was a surprise. So within a week or two of joining I hit my first rank in the company. I was excited and terrified all at the same time. The shy stranger who signed me up had vanished and was no longer guiding me. I was in all of these groups and chats and so I had at least some sort of resources available. I knew I would never want my team to feel alone and so it was up to me to learn everything I could about the business so that I could help them. So thats what I did. I spent hours learning everything I could and passing it along to them. We learned together and we learned quickly !

 

I have made more friends than I can count. Paparazzi also allowed me to see the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.

 

 


Of course this is a very vague view of the beginning of my journey. I had no idea what all would take place over the months. I gained confidence as paparazzi forced me to be seen by others and to learn how to be a leader. I gained strength by understanding I must always be learning and trying to be better. I gained friends which I now cannot imagine my life without them. I have more support in this business than all other past businesses combined. The money is also a great plus !!

Its been almost 9 months since I joined. My one yes has lead to 237 more. My team is growing and not only growing but thriving. What started as a way to have fun has become my purpose. My mission in life is to help others. This opportunity is something I must share as often as I can because it has truly changed my life. It has made me a better person. I care about every person who joins my team. I want you to be trained and equipped to not only sell jewelry but to bless others in the process.


Paparazzi Mission Statement says it all!

To bring strength, independence, and empowerment to individuals and their families by building confidence and financial freedom through affordable fashion. While $5 jewelry may not change the world, we believe those who wear it will.

Night and Day

Everything is Spinning, the World is whirling around.

Awkward and Silent, my feet firmly on the ground.

Perfectly Still, and quiet I sit, only considering the Silence to vent.

Bitterness burns with acidic fires, reminding time, is not for buyers.

Eyes tightly shut, as darkness clouds in, how I wish I could begin again.

Without warning the darkness fades, leaving only a warmth on my face.

A shining light, in my darkest fight, a new day, an end to night. 

Everything Changes...

        I feel as though I have been standing still and time lapse is occurring all around me. Life is in constant motion and goes forward each day. I always feel like if only I could close my eyes and press pause for a second then I could deal with the flood of issues we daily face. Maybe I would show more grace and generosity if I could truly ponder each response to each action. My children, though still little seem to be aging every moment... and my reflection reminds me that I also have added days since I last truly looked at myself. Above all else time is valuable... It cannot be purchased or traded for... its a constant in a inconstant world. I dare to say that at 25 soon to be 26 I still feel like I am finding myself. Maybe that will never change... I hope it doesn't. I keep reminding myself to breath as life floods in all around me.
       Does anyone know me? How can they if I do not even know myself? Am I the person I was when I was 8 and walked the dirt roads barefooted with my best friend? Possibly, I am the person who waited in the halls for my boyfriend to get out of class... always with butterflies? The person who walked the college halls feeling without purpose and without peace? Possibly the girl who loved the sound of a tiny beating heart and finally began to see what life looked like for the first real time? Every moment of my existence has propelled me forward to this moment of question. Who am I?              Standing still as the life I have ticks by and being filled with wonder? What are the desires and passions that are locked so deeply inside of me? Change is unavoidable... and time is not certain.. but love always is... Perhaps this is why above all we are to love each other deeply. Love covers a multitude ... like the rain washing away the heat and dirt of the day. To be saturated in the coolness and the freshness of love. While I still don't understand who I am I do know who I want to be. Someone that Loves... Someone that Forgives... Someone that Changes.... Someone that is unafraid.

 

 

2015 NEW YEAR

It has been awhile since my last blog. I still think about that precious baby everyday.....

November and December has been a major blur for me. We have been BUSY!!! All things new at the Gibson house include.... well our house !!

We have purchased our very first home!! We closed on our house December the 12th and moved in before the papers were sighed that day ! I had just over a week to get us unpacked and all settled before packing up for Christmas! We moved in and I put up a tree and then.... THE FLU hit!

My boys started with what seemed to be a normal tummy bug ... no temp or anything. With in a few hours my sweet baby girl was running a 103.4 temp that was not responding to Tylenol or Motrin. I took them in ALONE ... all three of my kids and me ALONE on a dr visit. IT WAS TERRIBLE ! I had an appointment for 2:45 and did not leave that place till almost 6:00 <<< CRAY CRAY

One of the absolute worst weeks of my life! Kenzi tested positive for the flu but the boys tested negative. I spent the entire week trying to get them all well and prepare to go home for Christmas all while I was also battling some sickness. I have never seen my baby girl so pitiful. She started feeling better about day 4 and then the boys ran temps for 2 days ONLY. Then the day before we go home I get the call that my grandmother was having gallbladder surgery and had to have another surgery the following day. I was not HAPPY to say the least! You never feel so helpless as you do when your 5 hours away from someone you love and they need you.

Finally it was time to go HOME!!! YES Praise the Lord a break for MAMA!! Christmas is always extremely busy for I am sure everyone ...but for us it seems crazy every year. Going home and then making it to 4-5 Christmas events all in the few days we are home is a challenge. This year was different. We missed one for sickness and celebrated another 2 days late. During my visit I spent a lot of time seeing my Grandmother (Nanny). She is one of the most strong-willed women I have ever met. Strong willed and yet still so submissive in her life. I feel like I have told her many times or at least tried to choke out the words of what she means to me. I can not say enough to feel like I give her a true sense of what she means to our family. She has always taken care of me and loved me. She has always been filled with wisdom and truth. EVEN IF THE TRUTH HURT! My nanny is the glue that holds us all together and even though it was a routine surgery it felt so major to me. While I may not have always agreed with her and her ways.... the older I get the more I strive to be just like her. My grandfather is a very stubborn and sometimes difficult man... and yet she loves him through his faults. She chose to serve him and love him and she does it in the most respectful way. I love him too! I don't want it to be perceived as he is this awful person but he for sure is stubborn and I know that very blood runs through my veins as well. She is an amazing mother and grandmother.... she still puts her children above herself. I miss her and I wish I would have taken advantage of all the time I had with her as a child. The lessons we learn as we age..... Christmas was extra special this year to me as I savored all the moments with our families. Seeing my Grandfather step up and take care of my Nanny moved me. Our family came together to do all the things she normally does for Christmas and while she fought me every step of the way she also thanked me. During our Christmas while my kids were making a huge mess I took her arm and led her to her seat so she wouldn't fall .... she said "Stop acting like Im crazy." HAHA Love her!!

With Christmas in the bag for 2014 we headed back to our new home! I was ready this time. Maybe its the thought of its mine ALL mine. 1200 square feet is pretty small for a family of 5... but its MY 1200 sq ft and I LOVE IT!! Yall I can clean it sooooo fast =) !!

With 2014 BEHIND ME.... 2015 Before me... I cant help but sit here just feeling thankful. My children are all still sleeping and my home is warm and quiet. I have absolutely no where to be and nothing to do. Well actually I have about a million things to do... but in this moment nothing! 2015 looks good... it looks welcoming and it looks like love. It looks like LIFE.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all"
-Oscar Wilde

"

The World Forgets.... Promise I Wont...

  As I sit here in the quiet of my home. All I can think about is your sweet face. I have waited all day for this quiet moment... and suddenly I wish I could wake my entire family up. In fact, I wish to wake the entire nation... the entire world. What happened to you was more evil than I care to try to understand. Nothing makes sense when I see things like this happening all around me... everyday. We save the animals... the environment.... and yet we murder our own. Save the human race... Sounds like a good campaign right?

ONLY IT HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE... JESUS CHRIST CAME TO THIS EARTH AND HE DIED FOR OUR SINS TO SAVE US FROM AN ETERNITY IN HELL WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT WE DESERVE. 

WHY?

BECAUSE HE LOVES US!

     His name is Scotty McMillan ... Baby Boy ... I want so badly to have loved you in this life. To have taken you away from those who were chosen to be your parents. I have studied your face... you remind me of my baby boy Kymbrel. Im sorry that we as a nation failed you. I wish I could have saved you... I wish I could have showed you that even though we were not made for this world that love does exist here. The world will forget you.. its heartbreaking but its true. I WILL NEVER forget you. I never met you but your sweet little face will be with me forever. Your little hands ... I just know that they would have fit perfectly in mine ... and my babies. They would have loved you more perfectly than even I could. All of this is feeling... hurt.. and anger and just disgust. Your sweet little life has already changed mine. In the 75 min I have known of your existence I have completely fallen in love with you. 

   While I could not save you... Jesus did... and While I could not show you love... Jesus IS.

   If there is anyone out there who feels like they just can not be a parent ... please reach out to me. Maybe you were not meant to be a parent .. Maybe you were supposed to be the delivery driver. What can seem like a life sentence to some would be a life dream for others. AND THAT IS OK.

   I will follow this story until it ends.... You have melted my heart and caused a spark. Praying my Spark ...turns into a flame... and that it burns into the hearts of those who hear your story. 

     I would say Rest In Peace... but I already know... Thank God.

Romans 12:19  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord.

   

Home

Home is NOT a place... it is a feeling...

I have been visiting my home in North Alabama for the past week. I'm here basically on business this visit which feels strange considering how much I want to spend time with my family but somehow completely tend to fill up my time with work. Its been so nice though, to feel accomplished again as a photographer.

As I was driving to a shoot today in the town I went to high school in... it suddenly hit me... just a sadness. I was flooded with memories and thoughts... some good... some bad. I do love Killen and Florence where I would claim my roots are but something hurt me today about Lexington. I found myself even missing it. The tiniest of tiny towns... had somehow become a huge thing to me.

The best memories are not the snap shots in our mind.... the best kind are the ones that can captivate the senses. Its not the image so much as the feeling...

Much like my current town... Lexington is tiny. There are a few differences... Lexington does not have a Walmart, Hospital, or YMCA. What Lexington does have is a red light at the 4 way stop, a big star, and a cop that never catches a soul because everyone warns you by flashing their lights. The biggest thing in this tiny town is football and Lexington School. (Go Bears might I add). It is so much smaller than my current small town but somehow reflects the warm characteristics that I honestly found unexpected even today. Finding myself missing this place might have thrown me for a loop.

So while driving I begin to think about all the times I had said " I cant wait to graduate and get out of here." Well what a young and moronic statement.... Here I am... Completely out of this little town. Just taking in all that surrounds me....

Fields, Cows and Cotton.... old abandoned barns that called my name ... (come take pictures in front of me)

A sense of security is what I had discovered. How I miss the fullness of being safe. 

Your never a stranger in Lexington... Everyone knows you or at least they pretend to know you or even take the time to say " You new in town?" Its country at its finest. Jeans with Skoal rings and muddy boots topped off with a camo hat is what you will get. Some of the hardest working men and women that I have ever come across have come from Lexington. Always a familiar face ... and youll hear "I havent seen you around here in awhile"... and youll think ... It feels like it was just yesterday.

They say home is where the heart is...

Well, I believe it.

My heart says your home is here... its in every blue sky.. every field... every hay bail. Your home is in North Alabama. 

BUT the truth is ... Home is where my heart wants to be... not where it is.

The memory is a cool October day... and he is driving down a back road. Im just looking at him ... studying his face and hands.... being thankful he was mine. Smelling the coolness of fall and seeing the sun light dance behind him. His blue eyes... oh mercy how they cut straight to my soul. Seeing his crooked smile as he turns the radio up. We are flying down the road, windows down... hair a mess ... holding his hand... and singing at the top of our lungs.

See the absolute truth is that Home is where ever he is. He is equipped with every tool needed to captivate my heart.

Thank you Lord for him...

While I will always miss the beautiful place I grew up in... I know its never too far away.

It's in every smile and in every hug... When he hugs me... I close my eyes and not only can I see it but I feel it.

Home is not a place... it's a feeling...